Naughty Social Media Messages

I used to tire of that rapid firing of messages in my inbox that consist of many Yos and Wuzzups- along with flexes, poses, and an assortment of netherworld body parts. Lately though, I've been finding them funny. I'll never respond to a Yo, but I'll look at it. I look at all of them. I sometimes even take a second to get a quick online translation of those in other languages just to get the jist of what they're trying to say. And it's usually another short, boring version of "single and available". It's like walking by the more aggressive sales people of Chinatown and wondering if they ever really sell any of that cheap shit.

I can be open minded and hip, though. I made a video once titled "How To Take A Dick Pic". I was sitting in my old office space in Greenwich Village with some beer, and decided this would be a good idea. You can Google it with my name attached, and it pops right up there. Pun. Regardless..

I opened my mailbox today to get my messages, and found I'd received a pretty interesting one this time. This guy had printed out an oversized, very pixelated image of my face, and had cut a hole where the mouth was supposed to be. Can you imagine what he did with that? You'd be right. He sent this picture to me in my Facebook message box. The bizarre thing was that he had to stand behind the piece of paper in order to stick himself through it and take a picture. That was the only way he could show that it was my face, I suppose.

I'm not a novice to this sort of crass attempt at my attention, either. When I was an avid YouTuber (and before I had to leave the internet for awhile due to crazy people), there were parodies of a sexual nature and many terribly unskilled attempts at animation in my ..ahem.. "honor". But I have to say, the message today had to be the funniest I've seen. I tried to imagine what this guy was thinking in his room all by himself, because his message wasn't just a crude gesture. He added, "U like". So I'm forced to assume that he wasn't trying to insult me. That only leads me to the conclusion he believed he was flattering me. So I sit back with my coffee now and think of him cutting out his hole in the paper and getting all excited, placing his disco stick strategically through the face and holding his phone ever so awkwardly in front until he could see what he was doing and then, "Snap". Snap... wait, snap.. Ok, let's try it this way.... "snap!" Yeah! That's the one. I can't wait to get this onto my computer and send it to her Facebook..

I wonder if he got tired. I'm not gonna ask. I'm just going to read through the rest of these...

PS.. this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want to on it.