I'm "Fronting" You?!?
Okay, I'm generally pretty friendly and approachable in public, and I do tend to have a little faith in and enjoy humanity. But apparently, there's a bizarre way in which many dudes pitch their proposals of hooking up in NYC. I'm not really keen on it. I know, very certainly, the technique is not unique to one situation. It is to one city, however. I've never seen or experienced this anywhere else I've ever lived or visited. Have you ever heard the old story of a woman walking down the streets of New York and getting nasty things yelled at her from construction workers? Well, this is worse. Those guys are actually nice old men in comparison. I like them now.
I was out last night, and on my way to a meeting in the Wall St. area. The train takes me there in one quick swoop, if it happens to be running that late on a Friday night. I'm sitting in the train car. People are slowly filtering out and it's becoming emptier and emptier. It's a nice, laid back ride for once, and I'm beginning to relax a little. I like to relax. It feels good. We stop at the next station, and a tall, husky looking guy walks through the door. He's wearing some sort of do rag on his head and a puffy jacket. It's cold outside. I'd weigh him in at around 220 lbs. He zeros in on me and comes over to sit down as close as he can get. Mind you, there are plenty of open, empty seats around. It's around 9pm. .
The guy proceeds to scoot as close to me as possible, and reaches out to grab my hair and play with it. I look at him like he's insane. I open my mouth to ask him to please stop doing that, and he immediately counters by talking over me and aggressively. He goes into an entire speech about how sexy I am and how he's going to school for "film things because he is inspired by Spike Lee" and he's got an entire plan worked out that's going to make him respectable as an artist one day. He's going to do this through proper schooling, and in the meantime, "damn, girl- you're just beautiful. I can see myself with a beautiful woman like you." Again, I'm trying to not be a bitch here. For one thing, this guy's way bigger than I am, and his sense of aggression is making me nervous. Will being a bitch piss him off? Nobody else is on the train now. This is getting uncomfortable..
After an eternal discussion about his future plans that sounds closer to what you might encounter from a telemarketer trying to sell you magazines, he ends with this. "Can I kiss you?"
"No, You can't kiss me! Really??!" At this point, he is practically sitting in my lap. He gets upset and starts some sort of pouty faced whining. "Bitch, why you frontin' me?? What'd you front me like that for then?"
What the hell? What are you talking about, you oblivious village idiot? The sad thing is, this isn't the first time someone's literally tried to physically invade my space in order to try and hook up with me on the street. I got assaulted by a man on a bicycle in Central Park on a busy, sunny day when he grabbed me by the shoulders and tried to stick his tongue down my throat. I got chased down the block by a man following me into a grocery store after becoming confused as to why I wouldn't take his phone number. He started yelling at me in front of other shoppers and insisting he was from Jamaica. I don't know what Jamaica had to do with being aggravated because he couldn't get my number- those things don't really go together. Maybe the idea was that if he was from Jamaica, I'd be more interested in him?
The point here is that- stop. Just stop. Stop grabbing women and chasing them down the street and yelling at them and trying to kiss them in a rapey way on trains and in parks. It's generally not a good idea. I know nobody does this anywhere else in the country. So stop it, New York City boys. This is why we have a stupid kindergarten sign on the subway train that tells us not to sexually harass or improperly touch anybody. And I still can't believe that's real and needs to be there. This is not how to hit on women. Don't get pushy and aggressive and insist we like getting nailed while trying to run errands or get somewhere in the city. Maybe just talking like a normal human being could work, huh? Maybe lay off the grabbing and the space invasion?
This is why I drink breakfast beer.
I was out last night, and on my way to a meeting in the Wall St. area. The train takes me there in one quick swoop, if it happens to be running that late on a Friday night. I'm sitting in the train car. People are slowly filtering out and it's becoming emptier and emptier. It's a nice, laid back ride for once, and I'm beginning to relax a little. I like to relax. It feels good. We stop at the next station, and a tall, husky looking guy walks through the door. He's wearing some sort of do rag on his head and a puffy jacket. It's cold outside. I'd weigh him in at around 220 lbs. He zeros in on me and comes over to sit down as close as he can get. Mind you, there are plenty of open, empty seats around. It's around 9pm. .
The guy proceeds to scoot as close to me as possible, and reaches out to grab my hair and play with it. I look at him like he's insane. I open my mouth to ask him to please stop doing that, and he immediately counters by talking over me and aggressively. He goes into an entire speech about how sexy I am and how he's going to school for "film things because he is inspired by Spike Lee" and he's got an entire plan worked out that's going to make him respectable as an artist one day. He's going to do this through proper schooling, and in the meantime, "damn, girl- you're just beautiful. I can see myself with a beautiful woman like you." Again, I'm trying to not be a bitch here. For one thing, this guy's way bigger than I am, and his sense of aggression is making me nervous. Will being a bitch piss him off? Nobody else is on the train now. This is getting uncomfortable..
After an eternal discussion about his future plans that sounds closer to what you might encounter from a telemarketer trying to sell you magazines, he ends with this. "Can I kiss you?"
"No, You can't kiss me! Really??!" At this point, he is practically sitting in my lap. He gets upset and starts some sort of pouty faced whining. "Bitch, why you frontin' me?? What'd you front me like that for then?"
What the hell? What are you talking about, you oblivious village idiot? The sad thing is, this isn't the first time someone's literally tried to physically invade my space in order to try and hook up with me on the street. I got assaulted by a man on a bicycle in Central Park on a busy, sunny day when he grabbed me by the shoulders and tried to stick his tongue down my throat. I got chased down the block by a man following me into a grocery store after becoming confused as to why I wouldn't take his phone number. He started yelling at me in front of other shoppers and insisting he was from Jamaica. I don't know what Jamaica had to do with being aggravated because he couldn't get my number- those things don't really go together. Maybe the idea was that if he was from Jamaica, I'd be more interested in him?
The point here is that- stop. Just stop. Stop grabbing women and chasing them down the street and yelling at them and trying to kiss them in a rapey way on trains and in parks. It's generally not a good idea. I know nobody does this anywhere else in the country. So stop it, New York City boys. This is why we have a stupid kindergarten sign on the subway train that tells us not to sexually harass or improperly touch anybody. And I still can't believe that's real and needs to be there. This is not how to hit on women. Don't get pushy and aggressive and insist we like getting nailed while trying to run errands or get somewhere in the city. Maybe just talking like a normal human being could work, huh? Maybe lay off the grabbing and the space invasion?
This is why I drink breakfast beer.
Comments
Post a Comment