The Spring Is Coming
I always hated conversations that started with "What do you do?" This is one of my biggest pet peeves, and especially in a city full of innovators and entrepreneurs. It sounds like what they're really asking me is, "How & with whom are you employed, and can I get a job through you somehow?" And along with that comes things like status and financial classes and blah blah blah... This is so far removed from me as a human being that I honestly don't know how to revolve a conversation around it. I've never based my personality or my lifestyle around this sort of thing. I don't match the conversation. Unfortunately it is assumed that I do, because I have a full blown online presence complete with artistic things that might even sell once in awhile.
So I try coming up with all sorts of creative answers that have nothing to do with those things and steer it in another direction. This confuses a lot of people at parties and social gatherings who are incredibly focused on finding work. The parties here are not remotely relaxing. Most of them are just disguised as parties. They're really networking sessions, and everyone's looking for their next money maker. It's what happens when you bring a bunch of freelancers to a party. They don't do what they do for fun. They do it for money. It's expensive to live here. The end game is always watered down work and lots of money floating around. Oh yeah.. and a loss of your soul. I ended up walking around like a reanimated zombie and drinking a lot when I attended these parties during my first year in the city. I'd come up with my partner. Then as time rolled on, I did my best to slowly detach myself from all of it. This did interfere with my relationships, and eventually, their fires would all start to fizzle under a light, cool rain. I would end up finding a new road and seeing an ending to this place in my future.
On Wednesday, I'll be leaving my adventure in New York. I lasted five years, and I can't do anymore with it. It's just not my bag. Things are changing in some very intense ways, and with people I'm close to. And I know I set this all in motion. It's causing unnecessary fears to be tossed around. It's causing a little bit of chaos here and there. It's causing some pain. But when you want to start over clean, you might have to tear something down first. And there will always be that chaos until the adjustments are made. Everything new starts with it. And it doesn't last forever. If your people truly are your people, they'll live through it and be okay. I don't think anyone should be afraid of chaos.
So I try coming up with all sorts of creative answers that have nothing to do with those things and steer it in another direction. This confuses a lot of people at parties and social gatherings who are incredibly focused on finding work. The parties here are not remotely relaxing. Most of them are just disguised as parties. They're really networking sessions, and everyone's looking for their next money maker. It's what happens when you bring a bunch of freelancers to a party. They don't do what they do for fun. They do it for money. It's expensive to live here. The end game is always watered down work and lots of money floating around. Oh yeah.. and a loss of your soul. I ended up walking around like a reanimated zombie and drinking a lot when I attended these parties during my first year in the city. I'd come up with my partner. Then as time rolled on, I did my best to slowly detach myself from all of it. This did interfere with my relationships, and eventually, their fires would all start to fizzle under a light, cool rain. I would end up finding a new road and seeing an ending to this place in my future.
On Wednesday, I'll be leaving my adventure in New York. I lasted five years, and I can't do anymore with it. It's just not my bag. Things are changing in some very intense ways, and with people I'm close to. And I know I set this all in motion. It's causing unnecessary fears to be tossed around. It's causing a little bit of chaos here and there. It's causing some pain. But when you want to start over clean, you might have to tear something down first. And there will always be that chaos until the adjustments are made. Everything new starts with it. And it doesn't last forever. If your people truly are your people, they'll live through it and be okay. I don't think anyone should be afraid of chaos.
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