Regina's Doll
There are certain times in life when I'd rather someone just offer to be in the same space with me instead of talking. Once in awhile, this is more powerful than anything we could possibly say to one another. I don't think we have to constantly be verbally expressing something. It's simple presence. We're so much more than words.
I remember when I was around 6 years old, my best friend was dying from cancer. We were the same age. Her name was Regina. This was my first introduction to the finality of death, and I couldn't quite wrap my head around what was really going on. No one mentioned the disease. Instead, they tried explaining to me that Regina was going to go to sleep one day and never wake up again. I thought this was the saddest thing I'd ever heard, and I wanted to know why she was going to do that. It would make her parents cry! It would make me cry! Did someone tell her she was going to have to do that? I went with my folks to see her at her home one last time.
They'd told me she'd wanted to give me some of her toys. I sat in the room with her, adults all around and watching us. It felt very bizarre. She was so sweet natured and compassionate to me while going through her things, and seemed happy to see me. She picked through dolls and blocks, handing me her most treasured little things. I was still thinking about that nap. No one was saying anything about it. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and she was smiling very proudly as I left with my new doll. A week later, she was gone.
We have so much time with each other, then one day, those moments fade. If we took time with those people while they were here, they still know. I believe when we think of them, light a candle for them, or honor their memory in any way, they always know. I've never believed we just disappear. Our essence and our spirits are too great. Life is too paramount. I miss Regina, but I know we spent the most genuine and richest time together while she was here. I might have grown older, but I've never forgotten her. And I smile when she graces my thoughts.
This week is really busy for me, but thinking of this slows me down a little. I like it. I like remembering that life is a little more important than work. It's a nice little dash of cold water in the face, and it's refreshing. Today is a good day.
I remember when I was around 6 years old, my best friend was dying from cancer. We were the same age. Her name was Regina. This was my first introduction to the finality of death, and I couldn't quite wrap my head around what was really going on. No one mentioned the disease. Instead, they tried explaining to me that Regina was going to go to sleep one day and never wake up again. I thought this was the saddest thing I'd ever heard, and I wanted to know why she was going to do that. It would make her parents cry! It would make me cry! Did someone tell her she was going to have to do that? I went with my folks to see her at her home one last time.
They'd told me she'd wanted to give me some of her toys. I sat in the room with her, adults all around and watching us. It felt very bizarre. She was so sweet natured and compassionate to me while going through her things, and seemed happy to see me. She picked through dolls and blocks, handing me her most treasured little things. I was still thinking about that nap. No one was saying anything about it. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and she was smiling very proudly as I left with my new doll. A week later, she was gone.
We have so much time with each other, then one day, those moments fade. If we took time with those people while they were here, they still know. I believe when we think of them, light a candle for them, or honor their memory in any way, they always know. I've never believed we just disappear. Our essence and our spirits are too great. Life is too paramount. I miss Regina, but I know we spent the most genuine and richest time together while she was here. I might have grown older, but I've never forgotten her. And I smile when she graces my thoughts.
This week is really busy for me, but thinking of this slows me down a little. I like it. I like remembering that life is a little more important than work. It's a nice little dash of cold water in the face, and it's refreshing. Today is a good day.
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