How To Hit On Someone
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How to properly hit on someone: Don’t bother. I’m not kidding; you really don’t have to. There is nothing I love more in this life than love. I enjoy watching others wear it, and it’s always fun to experience it myself. Nothing’s more important. But what is it? I don't know. I'll never claim to know everything about it. It’s a mysterious exploration, and it’s usually more abstract than anyone with a control issue would like for it to be. The only way to understand and enjoy it is to relax and just let it be what it is.
It never feels good for someone to demand our affections. We kinda do that when we hit on each other. It's sort of like passive aggressively demanding a response from someone right away. I get that it’s debilitating just wondering- when you’ve got a crush on someone the size and speed of a freight train. That emotion is pretty strong. But it usually only belongs to the crusher, not the crushee. And crushers tend to blow things out of proportion in their own heads. Most of us believe we have to actively pursue that romantic situation, or we'll never know if our crush reciprocates our feelings. That's not true. People know within five minutes of meeting each other whether or not there’s a chemical reaction there. That's what a crush initially is. If they feel the same way, you’ll always know it. Problem solved. No other action needed. We can smell each other's pheromones. If someone's reaction is stone cold, they’re not into it. Most of the time, however, people blow that fact off because they don't want to believe it. It's a depressing realization. When we really want something, we want to retain some hope. So the bad habit of thinking we can eventually make someone fall in love with us begins. There’s a way to genuinely love someone you’re attracted to without demanding anything, though. Feeling the need to conquer the heart is not necessary for a deep connection to people we admire.
Our emotions can be pretty intense. They can scare someone to death, frankly. Especially the crush-ridden ones. It’s intimidating. It sounds insane, but learning to relax & be grateful for the opportunity to share any contact with someone at all, is a huge gift. It ends up making everyone involved feel a lot better. It's lighter, and easier on the soul. Give it a chance. Love is better expressed when you can feel joy for someone’s fortunes and happiness instead of expecting anything for yourself. If it's the other way around, then it's not love. It's an unhealthy obsession. Watching people we admire grow and blossom is a beautiful thing.
It’s not necessary to hit on anyone. They already know you’re interested when you’re interested. Instead of going right for the kill, why not enjoy the present and their company, and focus more on getting to know them as people? I don’t think it should be a requirement to eventually get anyone into a dating situation. Assigning categories and definitions to emotions never worked very well. I propose we let our egos and desires relax a little bit.
I hated the dating scene in NYC when I lived there. I only encountered pushy behavior and people who got frustrated if they didn’t immediately get what they wanted. I knew women who’d go online to dating sites and post what looked like applications for a job when searching for companionship. It was all very competitive and presumptuous. It made me desire to join a nunnery and swear off every bit of it. Even in rural places, almost everybody gets their hackles up when they realize they’re about to be hit on. We’re living in 2018- the age of self absorption. Not getting immediate satisfaction results in defensive behavior. Everybody’s stressed out over the dumbest things. It’s really not a good time. I’d suggest not hitting on anyone at all anymore.
I don't think the "friend zone" is a bad, evil place. I've had very good times and experiences in the friend zone. While I love physical intimacy just as much as anyone else, I'd rather be invited to be a part of someone's life in any way at all than to completely sever contact because I can't get laid.
I'm aware this isn't what people want to hear. It'd be better if there was some formula for hitting on someone, or making someone we like reciprocate romantic feelings. But is it really such a foreign idea to forge deeper, intimate friendships and connections instead of demanding a dating or marital situation? Maybe I'm as crazy as a loon, but I think all that dating jazz is kinda boring and repetitive. I like to explore cultures and human interaction and take my time understanding people. Using my entire lifetime to build those connections is more satisfying. I never know what's going to happen, and I like that. It keeps me from losing interest.
How to properly hit on someone: Don’t bother. I’m not kidding; you really don’t have to. There is nothing I love more in this life than love. I enjoy watching others wear it, and it’s always fun to experience it myself. Nothing’s more important. But what is it? I don't know. I'll never claim to know everything about it. It’s a mysterious exploration, and it’s usually more abstract than anyone with a control issue would like for it to be. The only way to understand and enjoy it is to relax and just let it be what it is.
Our emotions can be pretty intense. They can scare someone to death, frankly. Especially the crush-ridden ones. It’s intimidating. It sounds insane, but learning to relax & be grateful for the opportunity to share any contact with someone at all, is a huge gift. It ends up making everyone involved feel a lot better. It's lighter, and easier on the soul. Give it a chance. Love is better expressed when you can feel joy for someone’s fortunes and happiness instead of expecting anything for yourself. If it's the other way around, then it's not love. It's an unhealthy obsession. Watching people we admire grow and blossom is a beautiful thing.
I hated the dating scene in NYC when I lived there. I only encountered pushy behavior and people who got frustrated if they didn’t immediately get what they wanted. I knew women who’d go online to dating sites and post what looked like applications for a job when searching for companionship. It was all very competitive and presumptuous. It made me desire to join a nunnery and swear off every bit of it. Even in rural places, almost everybody gets their hackles up when they realize they’re about to be hit on. We’re living in 2018- the age of self absorption. Not getting immediate satisfaction results in defensive behavior. Everybody’s stressed out over the dumbest things. It’s really not a good time. I’d suggest not hitting on anyone at all anymore.
I don't think the "friend zone" is a bad, evil place. I've had very good times and experiences in the friend zone. While I love physical intimacy just as much as anyone else, I'd rather be invited to be a part of someone's life in any way at all than to completely sever contact because I can't get laid.
I'm aware this isn't what people want to hear. It'd be better if there was some formula for hitting on someone, or making someone we like reciprocate romantic feelings. But is it really such a foreign idea to forge deeper, intimate friendships and connections instead of demanding a dating or marital situation? Maybe I'm as crazy as a loon, but I think all that dating jazz is kinda boring and repetitive. I like to explore cultures and human interaction and take my time understanding people. Using my entire lifetime to build those connections is more satisfying. I never know what's going to happen, and I like that. It keeps me from losing interest.
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