Older & Wiser- After The Stories
While it's fun to look back and read about my youth and the experiences I had as a wild child, I'm grateful I've chilled out on my way to mid-life. Wine usually ages better in a cool cellar. I wouldn't trade the lessons I learned, but I would never want to revisit them. I'm not at a place where I desire that much intensity anymore. That doesn't mean I'm dead, however.
One of the most remarkable things about a life lived that fiercely is that if you survive it, there can be a deeper appreciation for people and experiences. I say there can be, because depending upon the person, it isn't always so. Some will have allowed those more profound lessons to offer excuses for bad habits or ill will towards others. That's not the person I want to be. I'm not that angst-driven kid- or young adult anymore. I don't need to be. But in recognition of that, it also isn't the social death sentence many believe it to be. I'm not running around naked with drugs in my system anymore, but I'm also not attending bingo on the weekends with a straw hat and a couple of troll dolls. There's this saying I've heard until I want to drop dead. It goes something like, "if I only knew then what I know now..." Well, guess what? I know it now, so I can try it a different way- and intelligently this time around! Who has laid claim to the idea that we can't still live out fantasies and dreams, and take chances like we used to?
One thing we tend to do more of when we're younger is take those chances. This is because most of the time, we're a bit naive and don't believe we might be susceptible to consequences. We know deep down inside, but we blow it off. And then the day rolls around when we're sitting in an armchair by the fire with creaky bones and a little less spunk and we go, "ugh.. how crazy was that!?" This is a critical point in life- right at that moment of recognition by the fire. It was crazy, because we didn't know what we do now. But a do-over might be entirely possible. And this time, we have more knowledge. Does that mean you can't do it at all? No. It means just do it like an adult this time. The game is more complex than you initially thought. That's all.
One of my biggest fears is that I'll grow so mentally exhausted and so disgusted with the social changes around me that I'll fall into that common pattern of crankiness and spite in my old age. I've seen it happen to so many people, and those people seem to acquire health issues more often & end up settling into misery. I truly believe an open mind and an open heart is the key to sustaining our lives on both mental and physical levels. I love my life now, and frankly, I'd never want to revisit my teen years- or my twenties. Or even my thirties. It took many years and everything that happened to find the peace, the joy, and the strength I finally have today. And to be even more confusing, I'd never want someone else to go through the things I did. I'd never want anyone else to make the choices I did. Most of those choices hurt me, and I don't like seeing people in pain. So it becomes an enigma; how do I possibly advise someone younger than me to avoid the things I got involved in, when I know that painful lessons are key in how one usually acquires wisdom and strength?
Maybe the answer lies in pieces, and spread out through many things; storytelling, music, philosophical conversations over tea... I admit I'm not the best at this yet. But I do love people, and I love sharing my experiences with them. Hopefully, one of those pieces is the fact that someone, somewhere can simply relate, and that will be enough to keep them from thinking they're isolated in their confusion. And knowing you're not alone is golden. It's like finding a clue that will help you move on. It always worked that way for me. I took clues from the experiences of others I felt connected with on some weird, distantly spiritual level. And it got me through some very tough times. Those golden pieces usually came through art; music, books and movies. So think about that the next time you're creating a piece of art or composing a song, and don't hold back. Being scared your art will influence someone the wrong way might be the wrong way to think about it. Remember- someone has to relate and feel connected to you before they can start pulling themselves away from their own situation.
And maybe that's where taking chances when you're older can really shine. We're teachers now, whether we intended to be or not. Dare to be forthcoming about your deepest confusions and feelings in your art, and this time, do it with intelligence and class. Art can still be provocative without its creator drunkenly parading around town in their g-string & spitting profanities. I don't have the answers to this life yet, because I still have a long way to go. But I do know I'm not willing to travel backwards and make those mistakes over again. What do they say- failure is only habitually doing the same thing over and over, thinking there will be another outcome at some point?
Yeah, things I like to ponder on a Saturday while waiting for the rainy aftermath from this hurricane...
One of the most remarkable things about a life lived that fiercely is that if you survive it, there can be a deeper appreciation for people and experiences. I say there can be, because depending upon the person, it isn't always so. Some will have allowed those more profound lessons to offer excuses for bad habits or ill will towards others. That's not the person I want to be. I'm not that angst-driven kid- or young adult anymore. I don't need to be. But in recognition of that, it also isn't the social death sentence many believe it to be. I'm not running around naked with drugs in my system anymore, but I'm also not attending bingo on the weekends with a straw hat and a couple of troll dolls. There's this saying I've heard until I want to drop dead. It goes something like, "if I only knew then what I know now..." Well, guess what? I know it now, so I can try it a different way- and intelligently this time around! Who has laid claim to the idea that we can't still live out fantasies and dreams, and take chances like we used to?
One thing we tend to do more of when we're younger is take those chances. This is because most of the time, we're a bit naive and don't believe we might be susceptible to consequences. We know deep down inside, but we blow it off. And then the day rolls around when we're sitting in an armchair by the fire with creaky bones and a little less spunk and we go, "ugh.. how crazy was that!?" This is a critical point in life- right at that moment of recognition by the fire. It was crazy, because we didn't know what we do now. But a do-over might be entirely possible. And this time, we have more knowledge. Does that mean you can't do it at all? No. It means just do it like an adult this time. The game is more complex than you initially thought. That's all.
One of my biggest fears is that I'll grow so mentally exhausted and so disgusted with the social changes around me that I'll fall into that common pattern of crankiness and spite in my old age. I've seen it happen to so many people, and those people seem to acquire health issues more often & end up settling into misery. I truly believe an open mind and an open heart is the key to sustaining our lives on both mental and physical levels. I love my life now, and frankly, I'd never want to revisit my teen years- or my twenties. Or even my thirties. It took many years and everything that happened to find the peace, the joy, and the strength I finally have today. And to be even more confusing, I'd never want someone else to go through the things I did. I'd never want anyone else to make the choices I did. Most of those choices hurt me, and I don't like seeing people in pain. So it becomes an enigma; how do I possibly advise someone younger than me to avoid the things I got involved in, when I know that painful lessons are key in how one usually acquires wisdom and strength?
Maybe the answer lies in pieces, and spread out through many things; storytelling, music, philosophical conversations over tea... I admit I'm not the best at this yet. But I do love people, and I love sharing my experiences with them. Hopefully, one of those pieces is the fact that someone, somewhere can simply relate, and that will be enough to keep them from thinking they're isolated in their confusion. And knowing you're not alone is golden. It's like finding a clue that will help you move on. It always worked that way for me. I took clues from the experiences of others I felt connected with on some weird, distantly spiritual level. And it got me through some very tough times. Those golden pieces usually came through art; music, books and movies. So think about that the next time you're creating a piece of art or composing a song, and don't hold back. Being scared your art will influence someone the wrong way might be the wrong way to think about it. Remember- someone has to relate and feel connected to you before they can start pulling themselves away from their own situation.
And maybe that's where taking chances when you're older can really shine. We're teachers now, whether we intended to be or not. Dare to be forthcoming about your deepest confusions and feelings in your art, and this time, do it with intelligence and class. Art can still be provocative without its creator drunkenly parading around town in their g-string & spitting profanities. I don't have the answers to this life yet, because I still have a long way to go. But I do know I'm not willing to travel backwards and make those mistakes over again. What do they say- failure is only habitually doing the same thing over and over, thinking there will be another outcome at some point?
Yeah, things I like to ponder on a Saturday while waiting for the rainy aftermath from this hurricane...
Comments
Post a Comment