It's Time To Clean Up Our Lives
Take a look at the phone. Open up Twitter. Watch how fast large groups of people form and band together to blow some action or sentence way out of proportion and context in under five minutes. If you're a public figure of any kind on social media, you're automatically way more responsible for what you say than the rest of us. So be careful!
And what's famous? Is it the old school concept of being known across continents for decades of film appearances, or is it being known in one targeted culture group for posting comedic memes? Is it a number of followers? Has it happened when you wake up and realize one day you have more than 3 stalkers passive aggressively explaining how you ignored their thoughtful praises online? It's hard to tell these days, because social interaction has become a strange crossover of fiber optics and physical reality. Most people are running around either confused, or narcissistic about their social status.
With social media bombs dropping all over the place, it becomes necessary to re-think the way we've always communicated. Life changes. Technology changes. When anything begins its ascent into a new era, it starts off with chaos because not everyone instinctively knows how to handle it. You suddenly get masses of people behaving like they're twelve years old again.
There's a silver lining in it all, though. If you're someone who does know how to handle change, genuinely enjoys interactions, and actually has listening skills, you've got a head start on charming the pants off everybody. (Take that literally if you want.) You suddenly appear to have magical powers, because in most life situations now, the art of charm has been lost. The mainstream has shifted and forgotten how to display class. Instead, class has been confused with things like sexism and weakness. As an example, while I was living in Brooklyn, I was told (by other women) that as long as I chose to wear my hair long and dress femininely, I'd continue to be harassed by men on the streets. Apparently, it's not cool to appear feminine or warm in public anymore. I took it as a distorted way of telling me I was asking for trouble. Which is hypocritical, since at some point we were angry at men for telling us the same thing. In any regard, I think its time for an emotional spring cleaning.
Toxic People
Let's be better, shall we? Instead of harping on how chaotic our communications are right now, why don't we move on to what we do after we've realized there's chaos. We start over again. In starting over, it's easier to begin with a clean slate. Less confusion. One of the most constructive things any of us can do is to surround ourselves with more positive influences. People who we admire and respect, and even feel a healthy competitiveness with, are going to encourage us to be better and inspire new ideas. Removing toxic people from our lives includes refraining from fighting with strangers online. Now I've seen certain people with the fabulous skill of snappy retorts to insults. Those people are rare, and could probably win over a room in person with hardly any effort at all. Some are just good at being witty and comedic on cue. And the rest of us love it. But most aren't so creative at comebacks, and end up in a trailer trash style fight with foul remarks. It just ends up looking like a big mess. Remember, we're all in the spotlight since social media blew up. You can't really hide in the corner of the party room anymore. And if you try, someone's going to call you out. So just buck up and learn to shine.There's no excuse for lacking communication skills anymore. We're a very literate society. Now, in getting on with the emotional cleansing, watch out for the following. They'll only bring you down and get in your way of happiness. Here are a few traps that are easy to fall into.
Feeling guilty over the insecurities of loved ones. You've basically got to train people as to how to treat you and behave around you. If you let someone believe it's acceptable to try and control who you talk to according to their insecurities, you're dooming yourself to a life of misery. You're going to be spending too much time caressing someone else's ego and not enough time on what you're trying to accomplish in your life. People can sometimes take advantage of your compassion. We've been taught that to disagree with someone in our own family is akin to being a traitor. You're not always wrong if you feel guilt. Guilt can be felt out of context by people who are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. The minute a toxic person focused on their own insecurities zones in on someone sensitive like this, they know they can manipulate that situation.
Life is as fair as you can afford. If you don't have very many resources, your life is going to be a little more unfair than someone who can pay for accommodation. It's unfortunate, but it's the way we've set ourselves up. You can't spend your entire day listening to someone cry about how unfair life has been. All you can do is offer advice, maybe a little boost of help if you have the time and means, and move on. Don't get into the habit of hanging around for more.We can be helpful without turning into doormats. We can also be direct without being jerks.Which leads me to this next type of person.
Over sensitive dramatics. This is someone who feels victimized at the drop of a pin. It's the person who believes you've cut off their arm if you disagree with them or cannot do something they want you to do. It's just another form of manipulation. People who believe they've been scorned by the opposite sex tend to do this right off the cuff when starting a conversation with a stranger. This is just an intention of getting what they want through guilt tactics. The point of all this is to stress that if you have a conscience, there are going to be many situations in which you're a target of manipulation. And unfortunately, a lot of these situations are going to be with people you know and love. In order to get your life on track, you need to teach those around you to behave with a little more grace, or you'll be unavailable to them.
People treat us the way we teach them to treat us. If there are never any negative consequences, someone's going to continue to take advantage of you. Stop letting that happen. Yes, you can still be understanding and allow someone to vent. Yes, you can check yourself and apologize once in awhile. But stop letting anyone- that's anyone- control your life and all your decisions. It's your life. The things you believe in spiritually, socially and otherwise, should never be compromised out of someone else's insecurities. If they are, you've become part of the social problem.
If you see something going down that's absolutely wrong, say or do something. Anything. If you're afraid for your life, then call someone else to come in and take care of it. Apathy, ignorance, and the allowance of bad behavior is just as bad as engagement. I truly believe this, and no one will ever change my mind. I have personally suffered attack over it in the past, but would not have done anything differently. I'd rather go to my death knowing I was good and right and fought for what I believed than live a life of cowardice. I respect people who stand up for others and don't jump on the bullying bandwagon. I respect those who retain class and communicate with elegance in public. I am attracted to those who stand out with their charm. So is everybody else. There are those who allow their insecurities to rule their decisions, and it always backfires in the end. And then there are those who allow genuine love to move them. Decide on what you want to be, and make it happen. It's time.
And what's famous? Is it the old school concept of being known across continents for decades of film appearances, or is it being known in one targeted culture group for posting comedic memes? Is it a number of followers? Has it happened when you wake up and realize one day you have more than 3 stalkers passive aggressively explaining how you ignored their thoughtful praises online? It's hard to tell these days, because social interaction has become a strange crossover of fiber optics and physical reality. Most people are running around either confused, or narcissistic about their social status.
With social media bombs dropping all over the place, it becomes necessary to re-think the way we've always communicated. Life changes. Technology changes. When anything begins its ascent into a new era, it starts off with chaos because not everyone instinctively knows how to handle it. You suddenly get masses of people behaving like they're twelve years old again.
There's a silver lining in it all, though. If you're someone who does know how to handle change, genuinely enjoys interactions, and actually has listening skills, you've got a head start on charming the pants off everybody. (Take that literally if you want.) You suddenly appear to have magical powers, because in most life situations now, the art of charm has been lost. The mainstream has shifted and forgotten how to display class. Instead, class has been confused with things like sexism and weakness. As an example, while I was living in Brooklyn, I was told (by other women) that as long as I chose to wear my hair long and dress femininely, I'd continue to be harassed by men on the streets. Apparently, it's not cool to appear feminine or warm in public anymore. I took it as a distorted way of telling me I was asking for trouble. Which is hypocritical, since at some point we were angry at men for telling us the same thing. In any regard, I think its time for an emotional spring cleaning.
Toxic People
Let's be better, shall we? Instead of harping on how chaotic our communications are right now, why don't we move on to what we do after we've realized there's chaos. We start over again. In starting over, it's easier to begin with a clean slate. Less confusion. One of the most constructive things any of us can do is to surround ourselves with more positive influences. People who we admire and respect, and even feel a healthy competitiveness with, are going to encourage us to be better and inspire new ideas. Removing toxic people from our lives includes refraining from fighting with strangers online. Now I've seen certain people with the fabulous skill of snappy retorts to insults. Those people are rare, and could probably win over a room in person with hardly any effort at all. Some are just good at being witty and comedic on cue. And the rest of us love it. But most aren't so creative at comebacks, and end up in a trailer trash style fight with foul remarks. It just ends up looking like a big mess. Remember, we're all in the spotlight since social media blew up. You can't really hide in the corner of the party room anymore. And if you try, someone's going to call you out. So just buck up and learn to shine.There's no excuse for lacking communication skills anymore. We're a very literate society. Now, in getting on with the emotional cleansing, watch out for the following. They'll only bring you down and get in your way of happiness. Here are a few traps that are easy to fall into.
Feeling guilty over the insecurities of loved ones. You've basically got to train people as to how to treat you and behave around you. If you let someone believe it's acceptable to try and control who you talk to according to their insecurities, you're dooming yourself to a life of misery. You're going to be spending too much time caressing someone else's ego and not enough time on what you're trying to accomplish in your life. People can sometimes take advantage of your compassion. We've been taught that to disagree with someone in our own family is akin to being a traitor. You're not always wrong if you feel guilt. Guilt can be felt out of context by people who are sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. The minute a toxic person focused on their own insecurities zones in on someone sensitive like this, they know they can manipulate that situation.
Life is as fair as you can afford. If you don't have very many resources, your life is going to be a little more unfair than someone who can pay for accommodation. It's unfortunate, but it's the way we've set ourselves up. You can't spend your entire day listening to someone cry about how unfair life has been. All you can do is offer advice, maybe a little boost of help if you have the time and means, and move on. Don't get into the habit of hanging around for more.We can be helpful without turning into doormats. We can also be direct without being jerks.Which leads me to this next type of person.
Over sensitive dramatics. This is someone who feels victimized at the drop of a pin. It's the person who believes you've cut off their arm if you disagree with them or cannot do something they want you to do. It's just another form of manipulation. People who believe they've been scorned by the opposite sex tend to do this right off the cuff when starting a conversation with a stranger. This is just an intention of getting what they want through guilt tactics. The point of all this is to stress that if you have a conscience, there are going to be many situations in which you're a target of manipulation. And unfortunately, a lot of these situations are going to be with people you know and love. In order to get your life on track, you need to teach those around you to behave with a little more grace, or you'll be unavailable to them.
People treat us the way we teach them to treat us. If there are never any negative consequences, someone's going to continue to take advantage of you. Stop letting that happen. Yes, you can still be understanding and allow someone to vent. Yes, you can check yourself and apologize once in awhile. But stop letting anyone- that's anyone- control your life and all your decisions. It's your life. The things you believe in spiritually, socially and otherwise, should never be compromised out of someone else's insecurities. If they are, you've become part of the social problem.
If you see something going down that's absolutely wrong, say or do something. Anything. If you're afraid for your life, then call someone else to come in and take care of it. Apathy, ignorance, and the allowance of bad behavior is just as bad as engagement. I truly believe this, and no one will ever change my mind. I have personally suffered attack over it in the past, but would not have done anything differently. I'd rather go to my death knowing I was good and right and fought for what I believed than live a life of cowardice. I respect people who stand up for others and don't jump on the bullying bandwagon. I respect those who retain class and communicate with elegance in public. I am attracted to those who stand out with their charm. So is everybody else. There are those who allow their insecurities to rule their decisions, and it always backfires in the end. And then there are those who allow genuine love to move them. Decide on what you want to be, and make it happen. It's time.
Comments
Post a Comment