Anti Feminist? What am I? An animal? Batshit Crazy?
I know this is going to piss somebody off somewhere, and I will also sound like I've lost my ever loving mind. As a woman with a high degree of "follow your heart" mentality and hormone charged emotion, I missed "feeling" while I was living in New York. I became distanced and cold. I think it might have been a self preservation thing. One of the reasons I wanted to go back to the wild was because I wanted to feel spiritually connected again. To what? I'm not really sure. I just know I had a large void inside me, and I was starting to feel like a sociopath.
Well, I've been down here for one and a half months now, and boy, is that feeling thing moving in on full blast. I swear, I hear messages being given to me through animals and on the wind, and when I look into the fires I manage outside. Even the bees are talking to me. It's sheer restlessness. It's coming in like radio signals every time I turn my head. I can't even sleep. This morning, a black grackle told me to speak my mind, get my ass down to that little neck of the woods and set up my camp.. like, today. Immediately. "Get out of the house and get down there!", It said. So I am. In the midst of it all, I feel so high and flighty that I can't come down; restless, anxious.. someone would think I'm on crack or something. I need to get grounded. But I can't do it myself.
That's where the pissing off people thing comes in. This won't sit well with those who believe everyone on earth is entirely equal in every way, shape and form. I certainly don't. I know my limitations, and I know my body and mind. I know it's highly dependent on the cocktail of hormones swimming through my body, and the way my female mind tries to think of and do too many things at the same time, causing serious confusion and miscalculations. Misunderstandings abound. I can't rest. But there's one way I can-
There are a few real men left on earth, believe it or not. And I'm not talking about John Wayne and asshole attitudes. I'm not talking about banging, either. I'm talking about human beings who are direct, honest, unapologetic, brave, and kind. Kind. Not dick. And there's a vast difference in the way a lot of men and women communicate. Women, like myself, tend to communicate in abstracts and are wired to multitask. Men tend to communicate more directly, and are wired to focus. Together, this energy can do tremendous things and make possible what seems impossible. And I need it. And he's on his way right now.
I don't know what happened or why I suddenly went emotionally bazerk. It happened yesterday and lasted all night. Maybe it was the moon. Isn't that what people say? But I do know when to check myself and admit I need help getting balanced and grounded. Thank god for good friends.
Well, I've been down here for one and a half months now, and boy, is that feeling thing moving in on full blast. I swear, I hear messages being given to me through animals and on the wind, and when I look into the fires I manage outside. Even the bees are talking to me. It's sheer restlessness. It's coming in like radio signals every time I turn my head. I can't even sleep. This morning, a black grackle told me to speak my mind, get my ass down to that little neck of the woods and set up my camp.. like, today. Immediately. "Get out of the house and get down there!", It said. So I am. In the midst of it all, I feel so high and flighty that I can't come down; restless, anxious.. someone would think I'm on crack or something. I need to get grounded. But I can't do it myself.
That's where the pissing off people thing comes in. This won't sit well with those who believe everyone on earth is entirely equal in every way, shape and form. I certainly don't. I know my limitations, and I know my body and mind. I know it's highly dependent on the cocktail of hormones swimming through my body, and the way my female mind tries to think of and do too many things at the same time, causing serious confusion and miscalculations. Misunderstandings abound. I can't rest. But there's one way I can-
There are a few real men left on earth, believe it or not. And I'm not talking about John Wayne and asshole attitudes. I'm not talking about banging, either. I'm talking about human beings who are direct, honest, unapologetic, brave, and kind. Kind. Not dick. And there's a vast difference in the way a lot of men and women communicate. Women, like myself, tend to communicate in abstracts and are wired to multitask. Men tend to communicate more directly, and are wired to focus. Together, this energy can do tremendous things and make possible what seems impossible. And I need it. And he's on his way right now.
I don't know what happened or why I suddenly went emotionally bazerk. It happened yesterday and lasted all night. Maybe it was the moon. Isn't that what people say? But I do know when to check myself and admit I need help getting balanced and grounded. Thank god for good friends.
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